| * SIMPLE ICE *
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| * YOU AND ME * A VOYAGE OF TWO HEARTS SEEKING FOR A REFUGE * YOU AND ME * A VOYAGE OF TWO HEARTS SEEKING FOR A REFUGE * YOU AND ME *
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| who am i?
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NAME: azy jahat
EMAIL: thrash_agogo@yahoo.com
JOB: u know what?! he is so lazy!!!
AGE: it is just a matter of number that frightened u
INTEREST: laughing... hahaha...
BAND HE USED TO LISTEN LATELY: chocking victim, leftover crack, against me, anti-flag
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maystar * designs
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| Sunday, February 20, 2005 |
somewhere i didnt see it when you see me,
somewhere that i didnt realized it before,
or maybe if i was, till the time i found it,
it is so sweet than ever...
# posted by azy_jahat @ 11:07 AM
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| Wednesday, February 16, 2005 |
the guilty me... please put me in your prison...
depression overwhelming my situation,
confusion overcoming myself,
accusing me such i am wrong,
am i wrong?
but they pretend not,
i don't know,
i saw them smiling,
and acting you were not smiling hurted myself enough,
i felt like an outcast,
or maybe feeling like i am not like what you were expected me,
maybe because of me not enough in explaining,
maybe because of me always confronted with smile,
maybe because i always in back off,
maybe because i am me...
if my care is a guilty, i am so sorry...
if you call me jerk, i dont care...
if you dislike it, dont covered it with smile, lets it be straight...
if my name already dwell in the dirt, i dont mind...
but what about if i do not care for her?
you like it, ek? - the evil started asking and craved for the answer...
the freedom is totally yours, rite?
hmmm...
# posted by azy_jahat @ 4:33 PM
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| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 |
it is 6.30 am by now and i still cant close my eyes right now. watched movie that brought me to the end of story which really left me with disappointment. i cant accept the fact that the last subtitles of that francais movie is to be continued. this movie really wasted my time. so i had my bath, with new shower creme which my mother bought it for me, smells so good, that could made me invested more times bathing. then i had my prayers time for my god, prayed the usual things i hope in my life. and still, but just now after not doing it for no reasons i found out relatinship is just a relationship, prayed that my relationship would go any further and never face any conflicts. i guess it is true that by now, i have spent almost the whole day thinking about her. and then rethinking again. and the strange thing was that i never found the exhausted boredom about memorising again, but a smile. and the most thing that came out after that was about if she also the same like me. she is such a nice gurl a guy could ever have in his life. she is great in comforting you in anyhow you will feel she is really nice. and somehow, she made you cant leave her, and you prayed to enlighten your relationship with her. i hope so...
# posted by azy_jahat @ 5:17 PM
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| Friday, February 11, 2005 |
the entity of me myself...
sometimes, the far apart of us really make the thing more precious. the feeling of really need to see someone overcome myself, and sometimes, me myself thinking about how me myself really in the deep abyss of loving someone. it made me realized that i really miss someone, and we cant, in any ways, to deceive ourselves. it made me thinking how important she is in my life which i dont what will happen to me if she leaves me one day. i hope she wont... it is truly a bad fact for us since we are already lived in a denials. pretend like we dont need them as they are in front of us, but we are really in deep shit of feeling to talk with her, to meet her everyday. it would be more great if she felt the same, as i hope she really love me too, as i do right now. the feeling of really need to meet her have consumed myself. i am to tally in love with her. i hope she loves me too...
# posted by azy_jahat @ 6:22 AM
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| Sunday, February 06, 2005 |
you came over to my house...
it is like, actually i really wanted to bring you upstairs, but i don't know how... sometimes, i dont want to let you in my house but you were already in... but honestly, i am really glad you were beside me, put your head by my shoulder, exhausted, sometimes sleeping, still sweet...
it was a great night we spent together rather than overnight, "loitering" at mamak stall till the dawn... i hate the fact that we have to spend the night with others, maybe because i want to feel that you are totally mine... when we were with friends, that's how we were... can't talk with you only, but to all... and peoples want to talk with you too, which i cant talk with you too at that time... maybe i was full of envious, plus already pessimistic i was... but is was not their wrong... it was not your wrong... and i guess i was not wrong too to let you with your friends... because i guess true love based on trust...
but the question keep confusing me "open relationship ek,"...
but last night, i felt like you were mine, in my hand, me hugging you, and i really love that moment... you asked me why i like playing you hair? and of course, why i like hugging you? and the only reason is because of i was passionate with you... i am totally in love with you... that's all...
i kept playing with your hair... eventhough i see you slowly closing your eyes, pretending like you were relishing that moment, trying to deceive me so it seemed like you were actually not sleeping, but i didnt mind anyway... i got you beside me... and it was the first time i felt like i really can play with your hair without to think about the public reaction... didnt mind what lin or ahdan (if they were awaken by that time)will say, just thought about you... and me didnt mind you sleeping while me playing with your hair, because i love doing it... maybe the feeling of so close with you... and i love that moment...
until the last one minute, you told me that you have to go, leave me alone... but me myself still felt like it was not enough, i wanted to be with you more longer... and i dunno how come i passed the ego bridge of myself, asking you for the one precious minute... and you continue playing with my hair, comforting me... thank you for letting me with you... and thanks for letting me hug you... i felt like i didnt want you to leave me... and that's how it was started...
but that's night was really wonderful...
love you so much...
# posted by azy_jahat @ 11:37 PM
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| Saturday, February 05, 2005 |
do you know about a boy's feeling when he is truly in love with a girl? do you know that he is really in love? how will u manage that situation? a thousand words of love from him surely wont let you believe it, and you want more through action and care. but he is so smart enough, pretended that he careless about her until one day he found out that the girl he loved felt the same. do you know how he felt? speechless, thanks to god and her too.
do we know about fate, afterlife or the suitable term of qada' qadar? what will you do if it is already written that our relationship wont be long? we are all not so sure what will happen future, but all this emerged when he is too passionate with his only beloved sweetheart. but that boy wont let himself given in, or stumbled into the circlepit of black hole reality, but more attempt to face up to it. then he asked himself, why should i go on while i know this wont be long? "each moment i was with her is the best moment and full of happiness".
do you know about the secret that the boy cant leave her either in mind or physically? it is because of she is so sweet. that shoud not be any surprise if the boy declared that girl his sweetheart. his mouth wont tell this but it came from his heart. and his heart wont deceive him about this. he is so sure that the girl he used to love so much right now really a girl that he wanted to love.
do you know that guy? hmmm...
me...
love you so much...
# posted by azy_jahat @ 10:25 AM
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